A Pointless Betrayal

Being lied to is the worst.

I’m a very trusting person. My trust in people is what leaves me vulnerable to attack from the dishonest.

Dishonest people are drawn to me like a magnet. A very mean magnet that wishes me destroyed mentally and spiritually. I want to be mistrustful of everyone and everything but giving (some) the benefit of the doubt is kinda of my badge of honor.

Also my badge of DOOM.

One particular lesson I learned recently is a person will take a lie so far and give it so much depth, that they believe the lie themselves. I’ve done that before. Told a lie so intricate and elaborate that I literally started believing my own made up story. Although those days are far behind me (because telling lies that elaborate loses every family, friend and associate you have), I had found myself stuck in the middle of someone’s elaborate lie and almost lost everything. Almost.

I don’t think that blind rage and irrational decisions would have made a difference but the learning curveball I received was enough.

No, I didn’t learn not to trust people. I learned not to trust THAT person.

I LOVE my trusting nature. It is part of my core. I will never stop be trusting to people because that would be denying my own existence. Can’t be going around deleting personality traits.

So, I will settle for just deleting a friendship. Better to rid your house of termites before they cause the house to crumble. Same goes for a toxic friendship. Rid yourself of toxic friends before they actually ruin your life. Seriously. That is NOT an exaggeration, people.

Being myself is not easy. I have to fight everyday to be happy with who I am and accept the consequences that come with that acceptance. Either that or I’ll be scrambling for the rest of my life trying to figure out who the hell I am.

I have had some crappy friends but, you know when you’re walking through grass and you occasionally look down to make sure you didn’t step on poop? Well, I see that poop as a crappy friend. I almost stepped in it, I just missed it by an inch. While the rest of the grass is safe for foot traffic, you still gotta watch for those surprise poop piles. Some of them blend with the grass around it so you may almost step in one or two, or sometimes just full on squish. Yuck.

Have any of you ever “stepped in poop”? Comment if you so choose but, know, it is not required. I would have written this anyway. Had to let off some light steam.

Moonlyte out.

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