Okay, this one’s kinda funny and romantic…
When I first decided to write this story I was talking to my mother about it’s subject, my inability to trust people. I’ve always had a hard time with trust because of previous relationships and have projected that hard time on a few innocent men. Now, hear me out, this was years ago and …don’t judge me 😜.
Lana paced back and forth through her flat. She kept talking herself through the conversation she was going to have with this man when he walked through the door.
I’m gonna catch him right as he opens the door and let him have it.
She looked at his phone again to go through the messages to “Cindy” and it filled her with more rage.
How could he do this to me? That jerk!
She paced some more and paced a bit more, stopping herself from calling him while he’s at work and biting his torso off. She just kept pacing, quietly, while working out in her head, how she was going to approach this.
If I start screaming at him, he’ll shut down and won’t tell me a thing. That’s no good. Maybe I should calm down first.
Lana began to pace back and forth feverishly trying to rationalize what she saw on his phone. She shouldn’t have looked in the first place. That was stupid. If she hadn’t looked she wouldn’t be so angry. But what she saw…
He told her he had fun with her last night! What the hell did they do?! Why did he lie and tell me he was with his mom?!
Her pacing began to turn into light jogging in a figure eight in her bedroom. Her boyfriend will be home in an hour and if she blew up at him, he would probably walk right back out. She needed answers and she would only get them calmly. To help calm herself she began cleaning the apartment, by the time she got to washing the dishes she was distraught.
Oh no, if I yell at him about what I saw, he’ll know I went through his phone. That will really make him mad. I’m a terrible girlfriend! I invaded his privacy and had the nerve to get mad for my own snooping. I didn’t even read all the messages.
Lana looked at her boyfriend’s phone in her hand, unlocked and trusting. She closed the screen and set the phone down on the table. She then plopped down on the bed and started crying.
How could I accuse him of anything when I can’t even be trusted?
At that thought, her boyfriend came through the front door, “Hey babe, I’m home.” Lana jumped up and flung herself into his arms, sobbing fiercely.
“Baby, what’s wrong?!” Lana looked up at him with bloodshot eyes and streaming tears and blurted out everything, “I was cleaning the closet when I found your phone, and I was gonna call the office but you got a text message from Cindy, and I didn’t know who she was so I got angry and went through the phone, read some messages and she said she had a good time so I thought you were cheating on me and I was gonna confront you but then I felt terrible for going through your phone and I’m so sorry baby don’t be angry please please please!!”
He looked down at her for a long time before bursting out laughing, then giving her a tight, loving hug. “It’s okay baby, I’m not mad. I mean, you shouldn’t go through people’s phones but I’m not mad at you. That’s not my phone, it’s your brother’s. He left it in my gym bag when we went shopping..” he hesitated a moment, “..for gym clothes.”
His hesitation made her a bit suspicious but her guilt masked that suspicion quickly. She didn’t want to go through that again. She went to start dinner and noticed that he was home early.
“Honey, you’re home early. I just noticed.” he came and patted her on the butt, gently and said, “Good eye, detective.” she giggled but the suspicion began to grow again.
“Why? Why are you home early, is that what I should have said Mr. Smartypants?”
His warm chuckle filled her heart with joy and the doubt began to turn to intuition.
He’s in a particularly good mood. All smiles. He’s warming me up for something. What did he do? What did I do?
Suspecting something awry with her boyfriend she began to watch him closely. He was nervous, making lame jokes, and he keeps kissing her hand. As he spoke, her mind began to wander.
Is he breaking up with me? Did he find another woman? Did he not cheat yet, but found someone better than me? Well, any woman is better than me. I can’t even mind my own damn business.
She came back abruptly when he began to kneel in front of her. Her mind froze. The world around her began to spin endlessly as she realized what he was about to do.
“Babe? Babe are you okay? Did you hear me?” Lana swallowed hard but couldn’t speak. The lump in her throat blocked the flood of emotions that pressed against her heart. She shook her head and he asked her again, this time she heard it instead of feeling it, “Will you marry me?”
She took a deep breath as her soul unleashed a celebration, No one’s ever asked me to marry them! I’ve had several boyfriends in my lifetime but not one popped this question. I didn’t mind, really, marriage isn’t really my thing. But this man. I don’t just love him, I adore him. Why wouldn’t I want to spend the rest of my life adoring him?
It’s amazing how if we just wrestled with our own actions during times of emotional upheaval, we could prevent disasters and produce magic. Understanding is such an important part of raising awareness for anything. When we understand, we choose the correct action. It’s the unknown that scares me. When I know, I understand. Simple as that. Same goes for a relationship. Making assumptions and jumping to conclusions can produce epic failures and lose the one’s we love.
So, take a minute, rationalize the situation, then decide if this battle is worth fighting for and possibly losing. Hope you enjoyed the story.
This is Moonlyte signing off: Make it a great day.