I’ve seen many books, websites, blogs, and advice columns giving women advice on how to “get a man”. Every one I read mostly give advice to the women about how to speak to a man, how to make him “fall” for you, how men think, what kind of women men like and such topics very similar. That’s great and all but where’s the advice if you are already the girl of any man’s dreams but have terrible taste in men?
Where’s the advice for the women who are already the perfect “wife” but always either, run into the wrong guy and mistake him for a good one or find a good man but he’d rather be with a woman to whom these books, websites, and blogs are for?
Okay, this might not be making sense.
Let’s use a story to illustrate my point. It’s a short one.
I was doing the online dating thing when I ran into a guy who found me very attractive. We talked a bit and I liked him so I gave him my number. We went out a few times but I’m a homebody, I don’t usually go out partying or anything and I prefer to stay at home and play a video game or watch a good movie. If a man wishes to take me out, I will go and enjoy myself with him.
We dated for about nine months and it seemed to go great with us. Since I’m a bubbly and happy woman, practically 24/7, we enjoyed our time together always.
There were no arguments or fights or anything because I was honest (and didn’t argue)and so was he (unless he lied to protect me and vice versa) and we talked about everything. We mostly talked while we were together because neither of us were the type to talk on the phone. We texted cutesy stuff from time to time or he gave me encouraging words when I was down but not much more than that. I never questioned him, nagged him, shamed him, accused him or made him feel anything other than joy and love when he was with me. But it didn’t last. During a particularly hot and steamy conversation, he abruptly stopped texting me. I figured he fell asleep or something came up, so I went to sleep. Days passed without a word. I texted him two weeks later to find out what happened but no response. Weeks turned into months, still no word or response. I took this as a hint to get lost, so I moved on.
He ghosted me. But I couldn’t understand why. I looked on many of these advice websites but they didn’t fit to my situation at all. The other places I went to are showing me how to be a guy’s dream-girl but I was ALREADY his dream-girl, he said so himself to his mom. He bragged about me constantly to his friends and family. He would talk about us in terms of a lifetime together. So, I couldn’t understand what I did wrong until I realized I didn’t do anything wrong which made it more confusing.
He was happy with me. I thought men wanted their woman to be like a paradise? So why ghost the “perfect woman”? I got no answers to this question. But, I haven’t stopped looking for one.
It occurred to me that maybe I just had bad luck with men. I once wanted to write a book about relationships and how to be the perfect woman for a man but how can I write such a thing when men don’t even want to stay with a so-called perfect dream-girl? It’s ridiculous. You can’t give relationship advice if you’re not in a relationship, can you?
Well, I’m sort of in a relationship. I think. He’s not around right now, I’m not sure where he is. He hasn’t talked to me in weeks. Jerk.
Anyway, the point I’m making is where is the advice for women like me? How can I be better at picking the right guy? I’m a pretty good judge of character. I know a bad guy when I see one. The men I have had in my life were not bad men, at all. These were good men in bad situations but it seems I always attract this type of guy. What’s the deal?
Show me an article or book that can solve this riddle. How to be a guy’s perfect woman?? Already done that. How to get a great guy? Got one. How to make him fall in love with you? Fell, then fell some more, and I didn’t have to “make” him. There are hundreds but none of them answer my questions. None of them fit my situation. None. Maybe I’m being dramatic and that’s okay. Drama is good for the soul.
Okay, this turned out to be much longer than I intended. Sorry about that. I just needed to get that out. Toodles!
This is Moonlyte signing off: Make it a great day.