Not sure if I have properly introduced myself but my name is Alana. Alana Moonlyte. I’m pretty new to the writing world, meaning, I have never written to the public. Not sure how many of you are going to see this post but I will write as if I am addressing you personally. You will see this a lot in my writing so, I hope it doesn’t confuse you. I’ve written a few posts on this site. Just to test out whether anyone was actually reading my writing or simply grazing by the excerpts, browsing for something to POP OUT and catch your attention.
I hope I have done this. If not, I will keep trying until enough people are reading these words.
Do you know why it’s so important for you to read what I write? Do you know why I am writing to you directly? Even written these words carefully so they can be translated and understood in every language?
Because I am mentally ill. That’s why. Mentally ill and can talk about it intelligently.
Depression, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, schizoaffective disorder, ADHD, and nonepileptic seizures.
Whew. I think that’s all of them.
Over the past few years I have read thousands of blogs, articles, newsletters and media outlet about mental illness. Thousands.
You know what I found out? No one really takes it seriously. Not enough.
I get it. Mental illness is a touchy subject. It’s hard to admit to it as well as believe it and take it seriously. How could you? Look at how many I just named! So many people, important people, don’t take it seriously either. Do you have any idea what I mean by “take it seriously”, or why that is so important? Because taking mental illness seriously can save millions of lives.
I don’t mean cage us up in containment camps or such nonsense.
I mean stop considering us just insane, over-emotional, out-of-our-minds, crazy, or any other such nonsensical words that demean us and make us feel ashamed of who we are.
Taking me seriously means understanding, completely, what is driving my behavior.
So, I will explain it to you by telling you how it developed over the years of my life. How it affected those around me, how it affects me now and how it may be affecting someone you know. My biggest ambition in writing this to you is these points above and others I will point out in the future.
I hope as many people as possible, come here and read. Drink as much knowledge as you think I have poured onto these pages. Well, digital pages.
I have a fountain of information to share with whomever is willing to drink from it. It’s not just my life story. It’s the raw perspective of what many would consider a “crazy” person.
I AM CRAZY. Do not mistake this.
I have seen hallucinations that would give you nightmares. I have heard voices that have told me to kill people. Yep, Class A “crazy” like you wouldn’t believe.
I have been diagnosed so many times it’s incredible. I have had past trauma and tragedy, horror and pain, and even attempted suicides. I can tell you my many diagnoses but then I would be extremely offended that you didn’t know already. You know, because I have already told you this information. In this post. Right up there in the beginning. If you had been reading from the start, you would defin-
Oops. Sorry, got distracted. That happens a lot. Distraction. Focusing is a bit of a struggle. So you might see me go off the rails sometimes but bear with me, please, I’m making a point.
If you have read thus far, then you are ready to travel down the rabbit hole into the abyss of my mind. I am a very insightful woman. Also intelligent. Self-aware kind of intelligent. I have such an in-depth look inside my own mind and emotions that I can give you the front row seat.
Everything I write from this point will be just for you. It will be all over the place, I promise you. I never think in order so my writing will be completely out-of-order with pretty pictures and some poetry. I like art and poetry.
I don’t mind you to asking me questions. I am okay with questions and will answer if I can. Any kind of questions. (except, of course, if I will have sex with you….No.) I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me, so you can get to know your loved ones. Know what they may be suffering from. Know how they may feel. By knowing how I feel when I am suffering, I hope you can get a peek into how they feel when they are suffering.
I think that’s a win-win. Sort of. Lol.
Okay, I’m gonna shut up for now and give you a chance to process this while I think of what I will write next. I’m frustrated right now because I lost my train of thought. Feel free to comment, question, or give advice if you think I need it. Ha.
This is Moonlyte signing off:
Make it a great day.