Beauty Does NOT Equal Whore

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Being beautiful shouldn’t be a burden.  ~Photo by Christian Holzinger on Unsplash

I love beauty. Art is beautiful, music is beautiful, people are beautiful. So many times in my young life I witnessed the nightmare side of beauty. Being beautiful can be a burden to those whose beauty has encouraged nightmare behavior.

I once lived at a foster home where the foster parents had their own children on top of the three foster children including me. The father was nice to me and the other girls but he was uncomfortably nice to our foster brother. He was the only boy in the house (besides his son who was more man than boy) and he was beautiful. He had short, soft curls that framed his perfectly round face. The sandy blonde color blended with his hazel eyes that made all the girls in the house swoon. But it made our foster father swoon more.

Late at night, he would sneak in the boy’s room and there was whimpering then thumping then he emerged from his room with a creepy smile. He stared at the boy so much it made the rest of us uncomfortable. When he would take us shopping, he would go into the dressing room with the boy, who had the most heartbreakingly uncomfortable look when he did.

This is the nightmare side of beauty and it almost makes me glad I’m average looking. Almost.

Some experts say that mental illness starts with some kind of trauma in your past but I would say that’s not entirely true. The boy I referred to above is a functioning adult, successful, no mental illnesses. He even read this blog before I posted it. Thought it was brilliant.

Anyway, another side of being nightmarishly beautiful is the envy. I’ve seen girls (and boys) call another girl a whore, just because she was beautiful and getting a lot of attention from boys. I’ve even seen and heard grown women doing the exact same thing. It’s ludicrous. Why call a woman such a word for the simple reason of her being attractive. Because your husband likes her? Or your boyfriend stared at her? This is something that needs to be discussed with your man, NOT the innocent woman or girl who’s only discretion was being born beautiful, well-developed, and/or kind.

I’m tired of seeing women hate each other over their mate who are just being…human. It’s natural for someone to look at an attractive person. Beauty does that. It attracts. Doesn’t mean they are going to leave you unless they are just a terrible person who didn’t really care for you in the first place and in that case, you deserve better.

The illogical blaming of the person your “man” is looking at must come to an end. Women should encourage each other, men should learn from each other but that is not the world we live in, right? Think about it though, really, what would happen if you just let them look? I hope you don’t think that because they look, they will take or want. Those people are assholes (excuse the language), terrible selfish, toxic people who don’t deserve your love or respect.

But for those innocent looks from the mate who appreciates beauty? No harm in that. Stop making being in love with the one you adore, a challenge. I focus on the things about my partner that affect my happiness and when red flags start popping up, I flee…fast. I look for the things that I wouldn’t appreciate in a mate while respecting that person for who they are. I’m not the only person in the world so finding another mate should prove possible.

For anyone with a mental health condition, you should pride yourselves on creating a peaceful environment around you. Remove the toxins in your environment. Spread the love EVERYWHERE. Get help if you need it, therapists and counselors are amazing at helping with relationship decisions.

Break the cycle of the stigma. Healthy relationships are possible for mentally ill persons. So is love.

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Smile and say cheese!   ~Photo by Daniel Apodaca on Unsplash

:This is Moonlyte signing off:

Make it a great day

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